Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
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Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
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We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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