my vag is so smooth its legendary
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
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