I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
