Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
