This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
