wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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