Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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