Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
