i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize