i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Randomize
