the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
