please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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