do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
