Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
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You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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