remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
