We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Randomize