im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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