My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize