I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
