Are we in a gay sports bar?
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
My cat gives me a boner
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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