Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
These tits shall not be calmed
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
