The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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