3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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