She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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