moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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