Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
porn star boner night. come get it.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
