He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
