i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
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This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
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The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
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