so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
