:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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