you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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