Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
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He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
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My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize