For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Randomize
