Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
