They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize