the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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