matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Let the clothes fall where they may.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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