he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
