i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
