Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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