It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize