we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
