I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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