I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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