Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Randomize