Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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