Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
