I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
