Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
