Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
