She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
