so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
