I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Randomize
