Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Randomize
