we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I just found puke in my bra..
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Randomize
